Feedback from our Editors at VJ Movement
Yesterday, I sent the students’ initial story proposals to several editors at VJ Movement, an international news outlet, based in Holland that features under-reported stories from around the world. Within hours, we received some really helpful feedback and overall, praise for the story ideas. Here’s what the editors had to say.
I asked two colleagues to weigh in on the pitches. Here are our thoughts:
We think they’re all potentially strong pitches. The main thing is to keep an positive aspect though to avoid the helpless victims trap. And regarding that, they could do with some tweaking.
I’ll write my specific thoughts about each here:
The Pitch: The Economic Impact of Rwanda’s Urban Development
The challenge of this story is the “helpless victims” problem that Ric refers to. In addition, I’m not sure what is unique about the story, as told. I’ve heard a lot of similar stories from China, for example.
Try to find an angle where someone is empowered and organizing the group of displaced people to create a livelihood in their new communities. Is there someone who is organizing for the rights of displaced people? And perhaps, there is one family or person who is actualy benefiting from the development?
The Pitch: Back to School: A 26-year old orphan returns to primary school
I think this story is promising, and the trick is to broaden it so that it is more than just this one person’s story, but tells something more about Rwanda today. Very good.
The Pitch: Burying the Past: A widow achieves financial independence through her funeral business
I do think this story is very strong because it profiles a woman who has made the best of her situation, but also must confront death–and thus brings up an opportunity to talk about the country confronting its history of genocide. So it is much more than just this one person’s story.
The Pitch: The Silent Treatment: Being Hearing Impaired in Rwanda
What is unique, in an international context, about this story? Why are so many (if it is a lot, relatively speaking) deaf-mutes? There may be a story there, but I’m not at all sure about the education angle. It seems obvious, a no-brainer. I’d rather hear about the reasons for the situation in Rwanda–if this is new, or a long-standing situation–and what new technologies or actions are being done to integrate deaf-mutes into society.
The Pitch: The Culture Clash: Preserving Traditional Culture Against the Western Invasion
Why is it so important to Rwanda to preserve these traditions? I understand it’s important to the performer–it’s his livelihood, but to the public at large: what is at stake? What will happen in a cultural and historical context if traditional dance disappears?
The Pitch: Je ne comprend pas: The Anglo-ification of Rwanda
What are the similarities/differences of Anglofication versus the Franco-ification back in 1918? They are both foreign languages imposed upon Rwandans. Please develop this pitch further. That would start from finding out the answer to the question posed, and then building a new pitch based upon the research.
mycameramystory
impuruza
Hi everyone… especially the faces that I know from second year TV journalism and production!
Since Amy asked me for some thoughts on your ideas, I’m passing them along. Feel free to ignore me (as I think one or two of you did in second year! lol) I also realize that these comments might be a bit late… but maybe they will help in the final stretch!
I actually think each of these can make a very good documentary that would be very interesting to viewers all over, but especially to Rwandans. I would say it’s important to decide who your audience is. Some of the other comments I’ve read suggest that similar problems exist elsewhere and that this might not be so different. Maybe not. But if your viewers are Rwandan, then this may be the very first time they see the issue examined in this way. And THAT is amazing.
In each case, I would say, remember that I care about the people in your story, not about issues as an abstract idea. Tell me about them, what they are up against and how they are solving their problems (or how they tried and failed to solve the problems), and the rest of the story will tell itself.
The Pitch: The Economic Impact of Rwanda’s Urban Development
This one is a very important story to tell in the context of any Rwandan living in the two major centres you identify. I agree you should focus on the winners and losers… maybe set it up as a tale of two Rwandans in this way? In any case, beyond just telling me how the winner will get rich and the loser will have to move to the other side of town, go one step further and tell me so what? If you can find a ‘winner’ who has grand plans to redesign Kigali or Butare, or to pump the money into something specific and useful (an orphange? a community centre? a school?), then you might be able to actually turn the potential ‘bad guy’ of this story into an unlikely sympathetic character. On the other hand, in tellng the story of the ‘loser’, give me some of his or her thoughts on what this is doing to their community, not just what it is doing to them. Are there any displaced philosophers in that crowd?
The Pitch: Back to School: A 26-year old orphan returns to primary school
I agree that you should try to tell a slice of the Rwandan story through this character, but first and foremost… tell the story of the character and tell it well. Then, think about expanding it beyond that. your visual challenge is that there is just one character, but that can also be your advantage. Think creatively – in a visual sense. Shoot through windows and doors, use different angles, etc. With just one main character, he can cooperate. Depending on how well the character himself tells his story this could work out really well.
The Pitch: Burying the Past: A widow achieves financial independence through her funeral business
I like this one a lot… and for a couple of reasons. First, while I have seen many Africans turn to the funeral or coffin-making business as a solution to their poverty and an opportunity created by local issues (lack of health care, AIDS, etc., it’s rarely a woman and it rarely goes beyond carpentry. This story should give you a chance to explore Rwandan notions of death also. Have they changed over the past two decades?
The Pitch: The Silent Treatment: Being Hearing Impaired in Rwanda
In addition to the elements already mentioned – the questions of if and why there are higher numbers of the deaf in Rwanda than elsewhere in Africa – I would look at the level of services available. Start at the university. I know that there was a huge a problem a couple of years ago… no facilities at all. Has that changed? If a big, progressive public institution isn’t dealing with this issue, who is? Anyone?
The Pitch: The Culture Clash: Preserving Traditional Culture Against the Western Invasion
I see lots of opportunities here for great pictures and sound… as well as showing parts of Rwandan cultural practices that aren’t normally captured. My question – aside from the one you raise – is, is anyone combining western and Rwandan cultures… in music? theatre? how about in all those films being made in Kigali?
The Pitch: Je ne comprend pas: The Anglo-ification of Rwanda
Interesting questions raised about what the difference is between this and what happened when french was introduced, but what I find most incredible here – and something that I don’t believe any other country has even tried, much less done well at – is to make the change so abruptly. How the heck to do you shift an entire education system, bureaucracy, etc. from one language to another overnight? Anyone have second thoughts? I think you have to work on the visual side of this… it’s not an obvious picture doc, and I’m not sure what I will see, but I find it very interesting as a concept.
Good luck!